Relationship Goals
Hey Lovies! So as I’ve said In a previous post or two for as long as I can remember I’ve always been a people pleaser. So much so that along the way my identity became small and at one point I didn’t know who I was. Growing up I surrounded myself around people I felt I needed to make see me or I found myself hanging around people who only hung around me because they needed my strength, my love, my support, my encouragement, & my light. They needed me to fill voids in them that they couldn’t themselves and because I’m a giver I tend to give even it that means giving pieces of me that I needed to save for myself. I always found myself giving so much to “friends” that when I stopped giving I found out that they weren’t really giving me much of anything... yikes, yeah that was a tough one to deal with. I had to realize everyone I came in contact with was not to be labeled as friend and that it was perfectly fine to call them what they were, a coworker, an associate, etc. These days I pay more attention to detail and I enjoy people who's intentions I know are pure, people who give me the same energy and effort that I give. You see this thing called relationship is not as difficult as we tend to make it, it’s actually quite simple, if you say you love and care for someone why not just show it and not only show up but be present when you do show up. Don’t show up and have an attitude the entire time, don’t show up and make everything about you because that’s rude, don’t show up and pretend that you’re okay if you’re not because your feelings are important too. Show up and ask them about their day, ask how things have been going, talk about each others goals and dreams, have girl/guy talk, laugh until your stomachs hurt, cook dinner together, dance to your favorite tune together. Just simply enjoy one another. All it takes is for you to be present and genuine. Don’t just check up on your friend when you see them post a status, don’t run to social media to post subs, don’t completely forget that your friend, brother, sister, cousin, etc. exists, don’t not invite them or single them out, don’t assume you know what they’re thinking, or that “oh they must be good because...” have you reached out? & sure life gets hard and sometimes gets in the way but don’t get so consumed with what you have going on that you completely ghost the people you say you care about because I can promise you it’s not going to feel good when its your turn or you find yourself being treated like that. I've been on both sides where I have been a friend to some who took advantage and treated our relationship as if it didn't matter, and I've been the "friend" who got so consumed with my own life that I completely forgot about my friends and family who needed me to be there. A lot of times we think that someone is going to live forever when that's simply not true. We should enjoy the people that we have in our lives because lives these days are so short and I don't know about you but I'd rather give all the love I possibly can to my friends and family than to lose them and wish I had more time. Show your friends and family the love they deserve now while you still have time to enjoy one another.
P.S. I pray for a better world where relationships are taken more serious. A world where two people can sit down and effectively communicate their feelings and emotions without being dismissive or invalidating one another, without it ending in an argument because yes both of your feelings are valid. A world where you don’t wait for social media to tell you when your friends birthday is because you’ll already have your gift and your card waiting for 12 o’ clock to strike, a world where if someone you love needs you, you show up and you be there for them, a world where actions outdo words every single time. A world where we say what we mean and we mean what we say and we do what we say we're going to do. A world where there’s no reason to be jealous or to think you’re better than the next person because why would you want to compete with someone you say you love and care about? That sounds insane right & it being completely honest it doesn’t make any sense. A world where boundaries are respected, a world where we realize we don’t own people and that we should take better care of the ones we say we love and care about because after all you did say you love and care about them right ? I hope every day we all strive to be better friends, sisters, brothers, etc. because the world needs more of the good stuff. Later Loves.
Originally Published: October 26, 2020
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