Keeping Up With The Jones Is EXHAUSTING!
Hey Loves! So ya girl is killing her self-love journey! now don't get me wrong I have my days, but overcoming those gloomy days have been so much easier ever since I decided to put myself first and not let the opinions of others weigh me down. I'm sure almost everyone has heard of the infamous phrase at one point in there life or another "Keeping up with the Jones", well I'm here to put a twist on it and say that Keeping up with the Jones is EXHAUSTING! and that at some point when you realize that materialist things are just that "materials", the life you live will be so much more fulfilling.
It took me 27 years to get to this point in my life because I did not always have this mindset. I was someone who was very materialistic, I just had to have whatever was in style, I had to have the latest phone upgrade, I had to have my hair, mani, pedi, and eyebrows a certain way (if they didn’t come out the way I wanted it I swore the world was going to end lol). I also had to be at all of the parties and be up to speed with everything that was considered "In". When I think about how much I have lost and things that I don't even own now It makes me laugh, thinking to myself "how could you allow yourself to be so superficial?" Keeping up with the Jones has cost me...LITERALLY! There would be times where I would spend my last to make sure I had an outfit for an upcoming party, or just spending because I had money in the bank. Now grant it, it wasn't much but it was mine and I had a really bad case of “see money, spend money”. I didn't realize it at the time but that mindset coupled with my lack of knowledge for my finances affected me in ways I had no idea it would.
A few years ago God blessed me with a large amount of money and because I was not disciplined enough I completely blew through it. I went on all the trips, went on all the shopping sprees a girl like me could think of. It was so bad that everyday literally I would find a reason to go shopping. Not once did I say to myself, "Okay, Yasmeen you have this money that could change your life, help pay off your debt, or help you start that business." I invested my money into the wrong things, material things and to be honest most of the things I bought I do not have now, I was blindsided by everything I’ve ever wanted and lost sight of what was really important. Having money is one thing but knowing how to invest and make your money work for you is the real come up, i’m talking real boss moves. For years it killed me and I continued to beat myself up because I did not realize how quickly it went and I could not believe that I could be so careless. I beat myself up so bad that Keeping up with the Jones seemed mandatory at this point and I would keep up one way or another. I could never say no, If I was invited I was going no matter if my bank account was telling me to think again. I was still spending money because it made me forget about my real problems even if only for a moment, that moment of satisfaction was all that mattered. I was what many would call a people pleaser. I couldn't say no because I was scared that I would be judged or that I wouldn't be as liked, looking for validation in people and things that did not matter.
The moment I learned to say No without explanation was the very moment I came back to life. Even saying no to myself, realizing that the things that I thought I needed, I really didn’t. It was in that instance that this burden was lifted off of my shoulders and for the first time I could think for myself, I could decide for myself, I could actually BE MYSELF, and I was loving every minute of this journey. Now let me let you in on a little disclaimer, I did not do this on my own. I have God to thank for my amazing transformation. If it wasn't for God placing genuine people in my life and pulling me out of a dark and suffocating space mentally, I don't know where I would be. There were days that I felt I was just existing and that my life had no meaning, days when I felt like giving up because I was trying to live a life that wasn’t for me. It was for everyone else. Choosing to be your authentic self can be a struggle for some, I can tell you for a very long time it was for me.
This self-love journey that I'm on requires me to show up every day and give the very best of me that I can. Sure I’m going to have my bad days, we all do, but when I find myself having one of those days I know who to turn to. With God all my failures, all of my mistakes, all of my flaws no longer define who I am. With God my bad days don’t seem as bad, now I’ve learned not to just run to God when I feel like my world is crumbling, I go to God everyday and I actually talk to him because the peace I feel knowing that he’s listening and that he's changing things as I speak brings me more comfort than I could ever imagine.
For the first time I'm in charge of my life and because I am aware of where I went wrong and I now have the tools to give myself a better life filled with Love, Happiness, & Peace, this journey called self-love no longer seems impossible. And from where I stand the Jones can have their life back because I don't want any parts of it. I'm my own person and this life of mine is just that… mine, why not make it the best that I want it to be? Why not set my own standards? Why not do and buy things (within reason) that truly make me happy?, things of substance!
To anyone who may feel that you have to have the finer things in life to live a fulfilling life I want to tell you that that is so not true and whether you know it or not materialistic things do not define you, people do not define you, it's whats in your heart that truly defines who you are.
I challenge everyone who is reading this to take the time to reevaluate your life, really be open and honest with yourself to see if some of the choices you are making are really for you or if it's to impress someone who isn't you. And no this is not something that you can change overnight because you may be so used to doing it a certain way, but just try and really try. That's all I have for now, Later Loves!
Originally Published: May 16, 2020
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