RESET
Hey Lovies! I know it’s been a while since I’ve written on my blog, your girl has been going through the motions. The week before last was so ROUGH! I got some unexpected news concerning my living arrangements and ended up having to move sooner that I had planned. I completely shutdown and I did something that I always do when anything goes wrong in my life, I allowed it to get bigger than me. I began to think of every little thing that I did not like about my current life. I started to panic, that the lifestyle I want was now somewhat unattainable (it’s only been a few months like girl relax lol), I began to doubt my ability to go after the things that I have planned for this year as if me having to move in this moment somewhat determined my future ( I know it doesn’t now, but in that moment I just couldn’t get myself together.) I was so overwhelmed & exhausted that I felt like I was going to literally lose it.
Last week was a little better I mean I threw myself into work so I was distracted for the most part. I did receive some much needed good news that my new room for rent would be available for move in right away which was a such a blessing. I mean here I am worrying & stressing all the while God was shaking his head like '“this child of mine” lol. I can imagine God saying “either you’re going to trust me or you aren’t, but there’s no in between” , a hard pill I had to swallow when I was checking myself. I am a woman of Faith but I would be lying if I say I don’t struggle sometimes because I really do. I have been through so much that mentally, physically, emotionally, & spiritually I’m just exhausted. Like I’m TAWD.
Honestly It’s like I’m caught in between giving up and pushing through. & I know , I know I’m not going to give up I just feel like I want to so bad. All I have is my own to stand on so giving up is never an option. I will keep pushing & as often as I need to I will press “Reset”
Pressing reset allows me to take account of everything I have already done & how far I’ve actually come (because I’ve come a really long way I know that). When I press “Reset” it allows me to feel all that I have been feeling. And by feeling I mean going through the motions, I have my moments when I’m crying, other moments when I’m smiling, I’m laughing, I mean I stress myself out bad like “girl what is wrong with you” Lol. I don’t really know the answer to that & quite frankly I’m still trying to figure that part out, but that’s okay I’m just going to roll with it.
There’s a popular quote that says “Rome wasn’t built in a day” It takes a plan, it takes execution, but most importantly it takes time to create a great thing. There was someone who had a vision of what they imagined Rome to be and with time that vision came to pass & it was absolutely beautiful. I know where I want to go in life & I know what I want my life to look like. I also know that it’s going to take time for that to happen. So I’m going to give it time. I’m going to breathe. I’m going to take a chill pill, & I’m going to RESET. Until next time Lovies.
Y U D I N E
